Update

I know it has been forever since I posted anything. Hopefully I'll have a new post up before long. This is the last week of classes for me until Fall, so I should have a little more breathing room after this week. I've had a lot on my mind recently that I want to write about; just haven't had the time to actually sit down and write it.

As for school, I have already finished up all the assignments for my philosophy class. I have about 40 pages of reading left to do for psychology and an exam to take by the end of this week. Then I can take a break from school for a few weeks! Not sure what my final grade will be in philosophy...it's pretty borderline between an A and a B so I'll just have to wait for the final grades to post. The psychology grade is a little more straightforward, so as long as I get at least a 44 on the final exam I will have an A in that class. I hope I can get a 44! :-) I admit that I will be a little disappointed if I don't get an A in philosophy also because that will ruin my 4.0...but I suppose it's inevitable that it will be ruined at some point along the way anyway. Maybe it would be better to have it happen now and then I can relax a little in the future and not be so anxious about final grades. :-) Whatever happens, I do look forward to some time off this summer.

I'm still not sure what is going to happen with my financial aid for the next school year. I'm hoping everything will work out so that I can go back full-time in the fall. But if I have to pay most of the tuition out of pocket, there's no way I can afford full-time. For those of you who don't already know, I've been out of work for almost a year now. When I lost my job I decided to withdraw the money I had in my retirement account so that I could pay off most of my debt and buy a used car so that I wouldn't have a car payment anymore. That money did help me pay off my debt, but it also is what is potentially going to hurt my financial aid for next year. Since it looks like I made over $50,000 last year, they are expecting me to be able to pay most of the tuition on my own. The problem is, I used that money to pay off debts, buy a car, and to live on for the past year...there's nothing left of it to pay school tuition.

Well, that's a brief update on things. Whatever happens, God is definetly helping me and teaching me to trust Him more and more with all the things I can't control. It seems crazy that I would ever have been hesitant to trust Him in the past, but sadly I have been. Why is it that we keep trying to control everything ourselves when we know from past experience that it never works? Somehow I keep thinking that if I just try a little harder, next time I'll be able to work things out on my own. I've asked God to forgive me for doing that and am daily asking Him to help me understand that I MUST surrender all these things to Him. I may be black and blue by the time I finally get that concept beat into my thick head, but whatever it takes to finally rely on God and God alone will be worth it. Interestingly enough, I'm finding that once I shut up and get out of the way, God doesn't come at me with a club...just a gentle reminder that He loves me and has a plan for my life if I'll surrrender and allow Him to work it out the way it's meant to be. Thank God for grace!